I’m sure my Mother scarred me for life with her story of little orphan Annie. Annie was a very poor girl who was sent out to sell matches in the freezing cold so her father could buy beer. One day she got run over by a train. A few years of this story plus family financial issues pretty much set in place my core belief ‘there is not enough money to go round’.
Often this will be activated, when someone seems ‘tight’ to me, when I think there is unjust spending or not enough spending or maybe when I loan money and don’t get it back. The list is endless and each one of them feels like the bellows of my belly just tighten up another notch.
We all hold core beliefs about how things should be especially around love, money and health. One of mine is that I can show unlimited generosity to those that show it back. I seem to have difficulty showing any generosity to those that don’t reciprocate, or even try to. Today my generosity took a slide with an organisation I had been working with. I was to provide them with a large contract but they seemed unwilling to negotiate the fee. So what to do when we are met smack bang with our conditioning?
1) Ask yourself what is the root cause of this feeling? When we have any negative feeling, in this case it was fear of losing out, we have to ask ourselves from what does this stem? Each time we experience discomfort (dukkha) it is because it is activating a part of us that we don’t necessarily like in ourselves. It could be a core belief, or conditioning or suppressed emotion.
2) Phone a trusted friend for counsel. Choose wisely, you don’t want someone to just agree or sympathise with you if you are to learn and grow. What you want is a practical outlook about the situation and some empathy. This is what I got when I phoned a friend….. ‘They might not have the power to discount, they are probably under someones thumb and can’t negotiate’. That made me feel better, another outlook that could be perfectly true.
3) Ask yourself what your are really missing out on? This is what I learnt from this exercise. I am missing out on a few hundred dollars but the stress of arguing about it is doing me a whole lot more damage than that few hundred dollars is worth.
4) Look at what you already have. Put it into perspective. I was in a cafe, I had money to buy coffee, I had my own business, actually I have a lot, more than enough.
5) Realise that what you put out is what you get back. The catch phrase to manifest is true. For years I worried about money on a minute to minute basis. This fear wasn’t attracting abundance into my life, it had a reciprocal effect. Now a days I just go with the cyclic flow that sometimes I have money in abundance, sometimes I don’t and work with that. I have stopped worrying that there will never be enough. In fact without going into too much detail the times in my life that I have had the most money is when I worried about it the least.
Practice for today: It’s really yogic and wise to catch yourself when you constrict and tighten from fear of not having enough. Where or when in your life is this activated? How can you practice the feeling of generosity and having enough so you can manifest more abundance in your life?